im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
