You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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