I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
