I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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