matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
