my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
