a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
