the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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