Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
