I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
