Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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