Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
