The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
