If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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