Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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