I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
