worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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