You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
