my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We had to coat check the pizza.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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