he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
