If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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