Where is the hickey?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
