so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
