After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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