sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
did you just send me my own nude
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
