You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
