What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
