I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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