How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
