My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How does one acquire holy water?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
