so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
