I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
