I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
