with your own penis?
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
