Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
