this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
