Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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