drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
