I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
