that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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