Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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