out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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