So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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