Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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