So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
