Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
