they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
