Kiss
Puke
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
