..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
