spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
