Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
