To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize